The Great Pastry Elf

2014-05-08 08:41:57 by CabbageClock

You can't fuck it, so you must be one with the tits.

You can't fuck it, so life on it.



You must be logged in to comment on this post.


2014-05-08 08:46:06

O m g

CabbageClock responds:

The healthiest truth always dies, choking on a bit of sausage.


2014-05-08 22:30:13

But, if you could "fuck" it, then you must forfeit the tits.
So... if you fuck it... you die?

CabbageClock responds:

Be whispered into the magnets, like magnets on a girl, and then who knows who knows?


2014-05-09 21:30:56

what does that mean?

explain, or i shall unsheath my sword.


no, my actual sword!

CabbageClock responds:

You are the hum, wise as like! No parody for the Suffolk coast, a wallet full of shit.


2014-05-11 08:20:56


CabbageClock responds:



2014-05-30 14:14:12


CabbageClock responds:

The last fly on the rice cake would take you for a wax, judge it like a cream. Nearly there now, so far, so hats.


2014-05-31 19:33:53

Such insight...

CabbageClock responds:

Is what? Beef? Beef colonic? They laughed and they sprayed eggs at the guts of the devil and left you in a pile of magnolia shoes, and you say this? TO MY WIFE? Lots of love.


2014-06-05 20:25:40

oh, cabbageth clocketh, how you riddle my mind with pointy enigmas!
the enigmas you throw at me sometimes hurt my clavicles, but i fight on, and survive, to ask again!

so, judging from your reply, i am the hum, and i am wise. OR... am i the sam-wise gamsee?!!!
and i live near the suffolk coast, witha wallet full of shit?!
marvelous! epic prediction of my epoch and of my legends to be!

i will accompany frodo in his quest to destroy the ring.

but for the time being... WHAT is a pastry elf, and why i cannot fornicate on it?
answer me, sauron von cabbageseed.

CabbageClock responds:

Part-exchange your belief in birthday, and overcome the overbearing sense of bath. He's done brilliantly for himself, piss-stained hands, ugly.

CHAPS! Fuck trees in the shit mist.


2014-06-18 20:56:02

those CHAPS must always fuck trees, right?!
i begin to understand you.

thats alarming.

(Updated ) CabbageClock responds:

Potatoes are on! Don't forget to burn the face.


2014-06-24 19:10:54

i am wondering.... how can one fuck a pastry elf?!

if someone can achieve this at all....

CabbageClock responds:

Keep in a cool dry place. Keep in a soft, moist episode.


2014-07-08 20:30:22

i ate a pastry elf, and an other one invited me over for sex.
im nervous, what should i do?


2014-07-08 20:31:52

also i burned the face out of the potatoes, they look furious now.